 |
PM |  | |
Quote | | |
Reply | | |
Full Topic | |
| Joined: | Sep 22nd, 2008 |
| Location: | Europe |
| Posts: | 291 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
I have found that at difficult times the thought of free will over the detachment from earthly matters can be very pleasing, relaxing, comforting, whether it would be in the form of cruel suicide or euthanasia.
On the other hand, at times when I feel more secure and have a more hopeful outlook for the future, I feel that dying would be a major mistake and inadvertently I would end up in the lower astral "hell" or at least I would loose the chance to evolve faster.
Funny thing is this idea of "spiritual evolution". When I was digging into esoterical knowledge I tried to be optimistic and believed to be evolving fast, heading towards something big, something absolute. But later on I couldn't preserve anymore this cloud of "positive thinking" and there shone through the same old attitudes and mistakes I was having for many years (the vicious circles).
Maybe this esoterical-spiritual detour is something I need, something that is part of my "process". It influenced my thinking for sure. However I'm having a mental disorder since 16 and recognize most of its symptoms and some are very close to these "spiritual" way of thinking - for instance the ideas of self-reference.
So I don't know. Perhaps we shouldn't have had any religions [belief systems] at all. I heard a guy who researched ancient religions telling that people back then weren't afraid of death. Maybe we're just so much attached to this world that we would punish ourselves if we gave it up.