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| Joined: | Oct 27th, 2007 |
| Location: | Halifax, Nova Scotia Canada |
| Posts: | 62 |
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I hear ya on that one, it's all about your outlook on things, the glass is half empty, or half full, but in my case, I can assure you I don't have a subliminal death wish or anything, and I certainly do not will these weird things to happen so that I can just talk about them and get attention!....LOL
I think you know me well enough from posting here over the years that I am (was) a serious researcher, and not some fly by night flake that you often see in these circles, I'm VERY skeptical about everything, and I never just give every single little thing a paranormal blame when it happens, I look for the logical SCIENTIFIC explanation for it first, and if I exhaust every single avenue of explanation, I then MIGHT look at it as paranormal.
Ya know, just before all of this "recent" bout of weirdness occurred, I even watched "The Secret" many times over, and also did alot of Qi Gong meditation to try to balance myself, so it really does astound me when this happens.
Maybe it IS just coincidence, but the thing is, it's not about me only seeing the bad, and the good being clouded from my eyes, it literally is that NO good has occurred aside from the norm, meaning my family is alright, and we still have a roof over our heads, you know, all that stuff that I make a point of appreciating daily. One must make a conscious effort to appreciate things in order to get the good things to happen, and be in a positive frame of mind.
I know what this "sounds" like, a negative thinker with a self condemning streak who is only seeing the bad, or bringing it on himself, but honestly, I'm WAY too objective for all that, and able to take a step back, look at the big picture, and STILL when I do that, I literally see this pattern of doom and gloom hanging over my situation that sometimes just can't be explained.
This is what killed CAEVP actually, I just became too ill to run it anymore.
I'm also open to the idea of meds interfering with things, in fact, for the longest time I swear that I've been channeling messages and information before I tried to quit my methadone for pain, and the amphetamines for my brain injury, I would wake up, take my meds, and then go back to sleep to let them kick in, so that the pain was not too intense to even move, but after I'd do that, I would get into this very weird state, where I was not asleep, but not awake either, aware of all around me, and could actually SEE the room around me, even though my eyes were shut with a blindfold that I sleep with over my eyes to help my photophobia. I would then experience this weird thing, like I was watching a documentary or something, and it would be about anything from nuclear physics to things about our universe, VERY strange. The weird thing is that sometimes, I'd look some of this stuff up later (as I'd write some of it down directly afterward) ad it was REAL info about these things that I just never knew before.
I've also very recently had what I"m going to rationalize as "sleep paralysis" happening quite a bit, only for some reason, they involve a spirit trying to smother me with a pillow.
I'm asleep, feel an overwhelming force pushing me down on the bed, (just like when 2 opposing pole magnets push on each other) and then, I see a dark form looming over me, with no real definition, and it grabs one of my pillows, and puts it over my face, and pushes down heavily. In my "dream", I"m pushing back, with my hands under the pillow, pushing upwards, trying to get air, and then, all of a sudden, I wake, WITH the pillow over my face, my hands under it, pushing upwards, just like in the "dream", and it's like a force lets it all go, and my hands fling the pillow straight up in the air with SO much force, the pillow hits the ceiling and falls back down on top of me.
Even THAT I'm not calling paranormal, being quite aware of what sleep paralysis is, but I have to tell ya, if I "didn't" know, I would SWEAR on a stack of bibles a spirit was trying to smother me, as it is SO real and SO terrifying!
Why this has been happening, I have no ides, but it scares the crap out of me, and my insomnia is worse than ever for fear of it happening again! LOL
I know, sounds flakey as hell, and I know what a wingnut I sound like saying so, but it really happened, for many months.
Have you EVER heard me post anything that sounded so ridiculous here, nope, and it's a bit embarrassing doing so.
So is it the drugs? I dunno. Is it the drugs opening up some pathway to something? I still dunno.
What I DO know is that since I've started weaning myself OFF these drugs, that is when the BAD type dreams started.
For years, I've had dreams where I was just someone else, some "where" else, just mundane stuff, sitting around with my friends, having a coffee at the coffee shop, but I was someone else, and have NO idea who all those people were who were my friends in the dream. Then, I'd just wake up. A totally meaningless moment clipped from someone's life.
THOSE dreams were very strange, and at first, I thought they were a past life thing, but then, I realized that they were happening in THIS time, not the past, so I just don't know what those were, any ideas anyone?
Is there a name for that?
Anyhow Keith, sorry to sound like a nut bar here in your forum now, I've had a LOT of very strange life changing experiences occur that eventually forced me to stop recording EVP, and I'm not sure if they were related to recording and investigating or not, but something inside me has changed, and I just cannot explain it.
I really hope you don't think I've lost my marbles, or have drug issues, it really is not that, I can assure you I'm still the same old logical Chris, just with ALOT more weird and unexplained experiences in the past year or so.
take care my friend, great hearing from you again!
Last edited on Apr 3rd, 2011 09:17 PM by NS-EVP